More thoughts from people our age!  (As always, thank you to Aaron Karo of Ruminations, for starting this amazing site.  All I do is pull the really great ones, haha.)  Just like the last post, these are all thoughts that made me laugh in some capacity.  Enjoy!

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- Why is that when I blow in my dog’s face she freaks out, but why when I take her on a car ride she loves sticking her head out the window?

- I still freaking love looking for landmarks and other sites I might recognize from my airplane window as it lands.

- The best thing about someone leaving your department at work is being able to blame anything that goes wrong on them for the next month or two.

- If you think any of Taco Bell’s sauces are genuinely hot, I lose a little respect for you.

- Why is it that growing up we were taught to cut all the holes in the plastic rings that sodas came in before recycling them so that sea creatures didn’t get strangled? Isn’t the point of recycling to ensure our crap DOESN’T get dumped into the ocean?

- A girl definitely invented the word ‘yay!’ because no guy I know has ever used it.

- Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.

- My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.

- If your baby is too young to come to the door, she’s too young to eat my candy. I know your tricks, fat mom.

- I wish the check engine light in cars had a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “I’m kinda hurtin’, but no biggie”, and 10 being “Bitch I swear if you don’t act now your ass is going to be shit out of luck in about 2 more miles”.

- Even though my cell phone is sitting right next to me, I still check it every 15 minutes just in case it vibrated while I wasn’t looking.

- There’s always that WTF moment when you find out two people you know in really different contexts know each other. How could you possibly have met without my influence?

- I support and admire our troops, but I have no idea how their ranking system works. Oh, you’re a corporal? So…does that mean you shine boots with a toothbrush, or you’re in charge of the entire army?

- I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium afterwords?

- I’ve always known that electrical outlets look like a little face, but only recently noticed its expression is one of shock.

- Music producers: Don’t add the sound of sirens to songs that will be on the radio. Just don’t.

- It’s never a good sign when you’ve exhausted your daily website routine within the first hour of being at work.

- Does anyone else sometimes space out when driving, jerk out of the daydream a couple seconds later and wonder how the hell your car is still perfectly in the middle of the lane and you’re not dead?

- Dear Microsoft Word: I’m writing a works cited. It’s supposed to look like this. Chill the fuck out.

- The first person who had hiccups must have been scared as all hell.

- Candidate for biggest oversight in the universe: lack of floor cancellation button in the elevator.

- Why aren’t dimmer switches standard in home bathrooms? I can’t be the only person frying my pupils out in the middle of the night when nature calls.

- Is it even possible to fully use your ChapStick before you lose it?

- Please tell me that I’m not the only one who keeps returning 3 or 4 time after you have set your alarm, just to make sure that you did it right. “Okay, 6:30… wait that was a.m. and not p.m. right?”

I’d say that I watch an average amount of TV, and go to the movies less than the average person.  That being said, I enjoy watching TV and movies in their original, correct formats.  Basically the way they were meant to be seen.

It was super hard to find a photo of what I’m talking about, so I’ll try to explain it as best and as simply as I can.

4:3 format – This is your television.  When you pop in a Friends DVD or watch Glee, you’re watching it in 4:3 format.  It’s also called standard.

16:9 format- This is what you see when you go to the movies.  It will usually be letterboxed on the top and bottom.  It’s also called widescreen.

Both formats are fine with me.  I love them equally.  What I don’t love is when people insist on watching their 4:3 shows all stretched out on a 16:9 screen.  For example, we have a too big for words television in our basement.  My whole family loves to watch stuff there, and I always find the normal 4:3 stations all warped onto a 16:9 format.  Family, do you not realize that it would look so much better if you would just watch it in the right format?!

I would think most people would like to watch their shows and movies in the right aspect ratio, but apparently that is not the case, making this something weird that I love.

My friend Amanda is pretty cool.  Cool enough that when she says I need to read a book, she actually sends me said book.  I got a book in the mail the other day…

That’s right.  You are seeing this correctly.  The Harvard Lampoon wrote an entire book parodying the Twilight franchise.  There’s a “famous” line from Twilight that they have on the back cover of their book, and I’m definitely going to share it with you here, it’s  just too hysterical not to.

About three things I was absolutely certain.

First, Edwart was most likely my soulmate, maybe.

Second, there was a vampire part of him – which I assumed was wildly out of his control – that wanted me dead.

And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.

I hope you laughed as hard as I did while reading that.  This book is freaking incredible.  Now, it’s not great literature, by any means, but damn if it isn’t great for a laugh.

It was wonderful because it was raining less.  It was terrible because Tom hit me with his car.

“I’m so sorry – I didn’t see you!” he said, driving away to find a parking space before the lot filled up.  I picked myself up and smiled knowingly.  Tom’s constant attempts to get my attention were flattering and sometimes surprising.

While writing this blog entry, I actually finished the book, go me!  Anyway.  If you’re a Twi-hard and like the book series as-is… don’t read this book.  It’ll piss you off and get you all huffy that someone is parody-ing the glorious storytelling of Stephenie Meyer.  (I hope you imagined me rolling my eyes as I typed that.)  However, if you love to poke fun at the series and now almost none of it makes sense, this book will be your best friend.  It only took me a few hours to read, because it’s just 154 pages, but it was so worth my time.  I kept laughing out loud and rereading parts that were so ridiculous and hysterical.

Then, suddenly, I remembered the accident, and Edwart’s snow-proof body, and his eyes that changed from I-don’t-remember to green, and I knew.  YES! VAMPIRE!

Yes, I enjoy Twilight, so don’t go jumping all over me for posting this.  While I found it a slightly entertaining read, and enjoy the cute boys in the movies… I also know that the books flat out suck when it comes to writing style and plot.  And 85 pages of how godlike Edward is.  Just saying.  I enjoy a good parody!

The bottom line?  This book was so entertaining, and a much quicker (and better) read than Twilight.  It even has an “homage” to New Moon, with pages of nothing.  Except, it’s not quite months.  You’ll have to read it and see, haha.  Here, it’s on Amazon.  And it’s cheap.  Or maybe you can ask Amanda to borrow her copy as soon as I send it back.  Now, onto reading the other book this lovely lady sent me!

These all come from My Life is Average, linked in the sidebar!

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- Yesterday, I unwillingly went to the New Moon premiere. Right as the movie was about to end my friend runs up to the screen and screams ” I’m really happy for you New Moon and I’m gonna let you finish but Harry Potter was the best movie of all time” and then ran through the emergency exit. New Best Friend Ever. MLIA.

- Today, I read a post by a Twilight fan in a Harry Potter versus Twilight discussion. It said (and I quote) “Twilight is so much better because it’s real, at least it could be real.”  I’m still trying to figure out how a teenage girl falling in love with a sparkly vampire and having immortal vampirebabies is realistic. MLIA.

- Today, I realized that google chrome has spell check. And in google chrome, google is apparently not a word. MLIA.

- Today I went on one of my schools computers and clicked the paste button just to see what the last person had copied. It was “How to dance like a Taco”. New Hobby? Oh I think so. MLIA.

- So, I never thought a MLIA would happen to me but, this morning I was outside eating almonds and a squirrel ran by me. I offered him and an almond and he accepted. A few minutes later he came back and gave me an acorn. I think I took part in the first Squirrel Thanksgiving. MLIA.

- Today, I got a paper back that I turned in a few weeks ago. The directions were, to draw and label a food web. I drew the Sun, a piece of grass, a cow, a human, then a zombie. Guess who got ten extra credit points? MLIA.

- Yesterday after school, I got bored and decided to go into the backyard and play with my slingshot. I didn’t have any ammo, so I just used peanuts and shot them at trees. I decided to shoot at one really far away. Out of nowhere, a squirrel leaped out of a tree, intercepted the peanut, landed on another tree, ate the peanut, gave me what looked like a thumbs-up, and ran away. Ninja squirrel, you amaze me. MLIA.

- Today during a classic pirates vs ninjas debate I pointed out that pirates are so cool they have a holiday. His response? “Ninjas have a holiday, it’s just hidden on the calender.” Touche my ninja friend, touche. MLIA.

- I realized that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calander says W T F. MLIA.

- Last night, I went to the movie theatre to see New Moon with some of my Twilight series-obessed friends. Being not much of a fan myself, I decided to follow the advice I got from Anna, who e-mailed me a mission through Mystery Google and scream “SHARKBOY” every time Taylor Lautner came on screen. Soon enough, I got almost the entire theatre to join in, and only a few dirty looks. Time well spent? I think so. MLIA.

- Today, I was trying the old google vs. yahoo. I typed “Edward Cullen is” into both. Yahoo’s suggested Edward Cullen is hot. Google suggested Edward Cullen is an abusive boyfriend. Google wins. MLIA.

- I was traveling to New Zealand with my family, and I was given one of those passes that ask you your reason for visiting. I then wrote ‘To throw my ring into the fires of Mordor.’ When the hostess announced that we would be landing soon, she then proceeded to say ‘Good luck Frodo’ in her best Smeegal impersonation. Guess who’s gonna be flying with Australian airlines more often?? MLIA.

- Today I was at an amusement park. While waiting in line for the go-carts, I saw 4 people dressed as Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Yoshi racing on the go-cart track. I’m going to this amusement park every week now. MLIA.

- Today, my roommate had to wake up for work at 7 a.m. and instead of getting ready she sat down in her closet, shut the door and proceeded to scream “I’M GOING TO NARNIA”. Best roommate ever? I think so. MLIA.

- Today, my brother got a concussion. While waiting for somebody to be available to take him to the hospital, my sister and I convinced him that he was Batman, to the point where he was answering questions about the gas mileage of the Batmobile. MLIA.