More thoughts from people our age! (As always, thank you to Aaron Karo of Ruminations, for starting this amazing site. All I do is pull the really great ones, haha.) Just like the last post, these are all thoughts that made me laugh in some capacity. Enjoy!
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- Why is that when I blow in my dog’s face she freaks out, but why when I take her on a car ride she loves sticking her head out the window?
- I still freaking love looking for landmarks and other sites I might recognize from my airplane window as it lands.
- The best thing about someone leaving your department at work is being able to blame anything that goes wrong on them for the next month or two.
- If you think any of Taco Bell’s sauces are genuinely hot, I lose a little respect for you.
- Why is it that growing up we were taught to cut all the holes in the plastic rings that sodas came in before recycling them so that sea creatures didn’t get strangled? Isn’t the point of recycling to ensure our crap DOESN’T get dumped into the ocean?
- A girl definitely invented the word ‘yay!’ because no guy I know has ever used it.
- Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.
- My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.
- If your baby is too young to come to the door, she’s too young to eat my candy. I know your tricks, fat mom.
- I wish the check engine light in cars had a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “I’m kinda hurtin’, but no biggie”, and 10 being “Bitch I swear if you don’t act now your ass is going to be shit out of luck in about 2 more miles”.
- Even though my cell phone is sitting right next to me, I still check it every 15 minutes just in case it vibrated while I wasn’t looking.
- There’s always that WTF moment when you find out two people you know in really different contexts know each other. How could you possibly have met without my influence?
- I support and admire our troops, but I have no idea how their ranking system works. Oh, you’re a corporal? So…does that mean you shine boots with a toothbrush, or you’re in charge of the entire army?
- I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium afterwords?
- I’ve always known that electrical outlets look like a little face, but only recently noticed its expression is one of shock.
- Music producers: Don’t add the sound of sirens to songs that will be on the radio. Just don’t.
- It’s never a good sign when you’ve exhausted your daily website routine within the first hour of being at work.
- Does anyone else sometimes space out when driving, jerk out of the daydream a couple seconds later and wonder how the hell your car is still perfectly in the middle of the lane and you’re not dead?
- Dear Microsoft Word: I’m writing a works cited. It’s supposed to look like this. Chill the fuck out.
- The first person who had hiccups must have been scared as all hell.
- Candidate for biggest oversight in the universe: lack of floor cancellation button in the elevator.
- Why aren’t dimmer switches standard in home bathrooms? I can’t be the only person frying my pupils out in the middle of the night when nature calls.
- Is it even possible to fully use your ChapStick before you lose it?
- Please tell me that I’m not the only one who keeps returning 3 or 4 time after you have set your alarm, just to make sure that you did it right. “Okay, 6:30… wait that was a.m. and not p.m. right?”
Tags: laughs
